Pagham-on-Sea Pride ~ Katy & Wes Porter

The last post was on RICKY PORTER and I didn’t really reach a conclusion about his identity (aroaceflux? grey? Definitely apothisexual or could be aegosexual based on his arousal watching Wes and Layla that one time? Maybe even Myrsexual and Myrromantic, which I didn’t add into the previous post, but also could describe him quite well if he actually ever thought about it?). I updated that post to add in some extra thoughts but left out the myr- label.

Definition of Myrsexual from

Here’s another post ~ demi brother and sister (Katy is heteroromantic demisexual, and Wes is demiromantic pansexual). Apart from their trans brother Dave, they are the only LGBTQ members of their brood of thirteen. This was MUCH easier because Wes absolutely has thought about his sexuality and Katy is still learning about hers, but it’s far more straightforward than her cousin’s to figure out.

Demisexual flag

KATHERINE “KATY” PORTER is heteroromantic and demisexual, which means she is only sexually attracted to people once an emotional bond has been formed with them. This can happen for some parasocial relationships, like if she gets a crush on a media personality (emphasis on personality) but in terms of actors, she’ll only be interested in the characters they play rather than the actor as a person. This means she’ll have a crush on a specific character an actor plays, not on the actor himself, and if she saw the actor as himself doing an interview or something, she wouldn’t think he was attractive because he’s no longer playing that particular role. Katy also can’t find someone attractive just from meeting them once, or from a picture of them.

Katy is a sexually active teen who just has crushes/relationships within her own friendship group. The books are about her relationships with her immediate family, and apart from her crush in THIRTEENTH, there’s no love interest on the horizon. She’ll have to meet people and get to know them for a while first. Note that just because she likes the attention from Wes’s fuckbuddy Justin in THIRTEENTH doesn’t mean she finds him sexually attractive, and also it’s in Wes’s POV so he doesn’t know what she’s thinking/feeling, and she’s probably deliberately winding him up.

Demiromantic flag

WESLEY EDWARD PORTER is a demiromantic pansexual. This means he’s sexually attracted to any gender, and gender doesn’t play a role in his attraction (unlike omnisexuality, where gender is recognised and plays a part in the attraction). As an allosexual he can experience sexual attraction at any time to people he doesn’t know (I know, it’s weird, I don’t get it either).

He cannot, however, fall in love with someone or experience romantic feelings/attraction to people he doesn’t already know very well, as there must be a pre-existing emotional bond there for him to ‘crush’ on people, or be able to think of them as a romantic partner/even think if they have romantic partner potential.

Pansexual flag

This is why, despite having a non-monogamy lifestyle, Wes only has two committed romantic partners, and one of them is someone he knew for four years prior to them getting together. This is his girlfriend’s best friend, and feelings had to develop between them over time.

Wes and his [alloromantic] bisexual girlfriend Charlie are swingers, and enjoy going to sex parties and kink clubs. The BDSM side of their relationship doesn’t come up in the books, and as Charlie is literally addicted to Wes and he can’t cure her or leave her, and she can’t be weaned off successfully, that side of it is used to increase Charlie’s sense of control and agency (Wes is a switch, and happy to play any role in a scene). Charlie also dates separately from Wes and he isn’t involved in any of her other relationships.

Hugo, Wes’s other partner, is alloromantic and gay, and doesn’t often date – he’s comfortable and happy being monogamous to Wes for the most part, and things might change for the right person, but Hugo tends to be cautious romantically, often not acting on his feelings for others.

I mention this, because when discussing romantic/sexual identity, attraction can get (wrongly) conflated with action. Wes is allosexual (so experiences sexual attraction) and pan-orientated, so he can be sexually attracted to pretty much anyone regardless of gender or presentation. In terms of falling in love though – that’s different.

Hugo’s romantic inaction is different to Wes’s demiromantic identity, in that Wes does not have those feelings to begin with. They can’t develop until there’s an established emotional bond which doesn’t have a ‘recipe’ or set of conditions that must be met in order to be created. It’s either made or it isn’t, and once the bond is there, that’s ALSO not a guarantee romantic feelings will follow.

Eight times out of ten, a friend is just a friend. If you’re Wes, there’s no reason why that can’t be a Friends With Benefits situation, but he won’t feel romantic love for you, and he may never do. You’d probably get fairly good sex though.

The relationship Wes is in with Hugo and Charlie is an open V, where he is the ‘hinge partner’, the one that the other two have in common. Obviously as Charlie is a woman, Hugo isn’t dating her. They are best friends though, and their friendship predates Wes.

For Polyamory terms and FAQs see:

An alternative Polyamory flag designed by Molly W.

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